Chocolate Guilt??

I just finished my lunch at work and still needed something else to eat as I felt that I wasn't satisfied with the crap sandwich and the even more crap yogurt that I had decided to have for my lunch last night.  Looking at everything they had on offer at the counter I decided on a chocolate bar.  Now, after having been back for 20 or more minutes I feel guilty about eating the chocolate bar.  Since when has weight watchers taught me to be guilty about eating a chocolate bar?  It's also going to encourage me to eat a salad for tea when all I really want is Tesco's Mac & Cheese.  Don't get me wrong I like a salad as much as I like the Mac & Cheese it's just that I'm having 'one of those days' and eating a chocolate bar can make things turn into a really bad day.  God only knows what's going to happen if I do have this Mac & Cheese for tea.

Is it even weight watchers that is making me feel guilty about eating the chocolate bar?  Could it be the fact that everyone is saying that I don't need to lose weight and that I'm fine the way I am and it's getting to me slowly?  I'm still losing and gaining weight most weeks but I'm not maintaining.  It's getting me down which is making me want the chocolate that's making me feel guilty.  Do I need to move classes and get a new leader who's more encouraging towards you  and less annoyed because she 'doesn't get paid as much' because no one is losing weight?  I know that part of the guilt is because I know I can do better and eat better but because I'm so freaking tired it's just easier to have the ready meals and stuff that are filled with crap.  Also with friends telling me I should cook my own meals all the time, I would but I work full time and don't normally get home till 8 maybe 9 at night and then can't be bothered to cook from scratch, cooking before hand and freezing or putting it in the fridge would be an option but not when I'm living with my parents.  We have limited fridge, freezer and cupboard space in the house as it is without adding a weeks worth of food for me.  Also mum and dad are not willing to have the same food as me every week.

Alas I am now finished work so must go and get weighed.

Fiona x

Gym

Hello People!

Don't know why I said that...ah well...

I've had a programme design made at the gym.  It's good, I now have a purpose when I go to the gym where as before I had none what so ever.  I would just run on the treadmill, now I know how to use the equipment I have to use :).  The only one I'm struggling with is the tricep dips.  I just don't have the strength in my wrists to do it.  I'm gonna ask if there is anything else I can do to do the same thing but not using my body weight to do it.  My wrists crack as it is without adding my body weight on top of it.

Must go for now.  The world calls.  Haha night night x

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!  OK it's 3 days late but it's still here and still going to be applicable.  Had I posted this in February then I would have understood.  But it's still January and close to the beginning of it.  Anyhooo I got only one new years resolution that's important just now and that is:

Be Happier Being Me

Kind of something you would have thought I was, most of the time yes but some times I look in the mirror and go 'Oh My God'.  I take everything everyone ever tells me and it stays in there, it may not be meant in any way, sometimes, most of the time, they don't even know what they said would offend me or make me feel less happy about me.  It's just a passing comment, but it all stays in there.  Maybe it should then be to not take what people say to heart.  Who knows.

Fee x